Brangelina by Ian Halperin

My intention was to read this trashy book and give y’all the sordid details that everyone wants to know but doesn’t want to get their hands dirty by actually reading it. But ever hear the expression ‘there’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back again!’? This was probably more like 4 but that expression applies here. But the whole reason I stuck with it was to get to the best part. The question all true blue Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt/tmz.com followers just want to know: (raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about..) How was it that Jen and Brad were on a lovey dovey vacation on a tropical island with their best friends Courtney Cox and David Arquette, holding hands and hugging and like TWO days later announced they were getting divorced? Didn’t get the answer here but did find out the following useless information:

*As 14 year olds, Angelina had moved her boyfriend into her house (where her mom also lived) she was also cutting herself with her knife collection. Meanwhile, Brad was having ‘makeout parties’ with fellow middle schoolers in his basement in Missouri

*Angie was diagnosed as psychotic in high school. Brad was acting in school plays.

*Angie was very close to her dad Jon Voight right up until the time when he announced on TV that his daughter was mentally insane.

*There is a very good chance that her first adopted child (Maddox) was actually taken from his home and ‘sold’ to the person she adopted him from.. sad.

* She was seen full on making out with her brother Jamie at various Hollywood events.

*And the whole blood thing with husband Billy Bob? Yeah it’s that weird.. She once said “He signed a contract in blood with a notary public saying that we’d be together for eternity. Some people think a diamond is really pretty. My husband’s blood is the most beautiful thing in the world to me.” Not so much now, right Ang?

*Despite all of their fawning and disgusting sex talk to the cameras, Billy Bob told the press after their divorce that sleeping with her was like ("not a nice word for making love) a couch."

*Sweet and poor unfortunate (but maybe better off) Jennifer Aniston talked to a reporter early on about kissing Brad: “The first time he kissed me, I stopped breathing. He literally took my breath away.”

*But apparently Brad and Jen spent a lot of time smoking pot together…

*Of COURSE Angelina and Brad hooked up on the set of their movie Mr & Mrs. Smith, contrary to her saying she would never be with a married man..ha!

*Their relationship now, as 'Brangelina', is as much about their ‘brand’.. doing good works around the globe with their squeaky clean reputation and constantly seen leaving restaurants and toy stores with kids in tow… will keep them together long after it’s over, which it probably already is.. the author predicts they will break up within 18 months. .. I give it 6

I won’t go on….